if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
