i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
