watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
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