can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
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