Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
