just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
