What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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