you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
