I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
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