Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
