so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
