Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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