honey bunches of taint.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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