Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
