scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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