I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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