my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
