whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
