so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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