Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize