Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
