just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
