k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
