you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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