i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
