there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
