last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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