everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
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