he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I want to walk on stilts...naked
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
