Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
