I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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