very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
