i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize