Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
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