apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
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