my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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