I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
