Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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