i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
