I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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