4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
All I want is dick and wine.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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