Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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