I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize