In the future we'll all be gay
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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