I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
