Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
