To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
