I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
You ruined the universe
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
