woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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