oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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