on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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