porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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