I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
