I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
