I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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