Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
my phone needs a breathalizer
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
