if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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