My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
