I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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