I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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