Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
